The FP Maxima

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 02/22/2017 at 14:23 • Filed to: Maxima

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Greg cares for his Maxima with the same precision and sensible nature he raised his daughters.

This car does not look loved and the article is pretentious AF.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 14:25

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Hey you have no idea how he raised his children.

I completely agree. I personally didn’t particularly like the article.

CalzoneGolem > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 02/22/2017 at 14:26

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vondon302 > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 14:30

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I couldn’t even finish it.

Takuro Spirit > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 14:30

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You TELL them you fell down the STAIRS >:(

Alfalfa > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 14:30

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The truth is thus: no matter how much care you put into raising your children, they’ll end up just a little fucked up one way or another. It’s just usually not cosmetic.

CalzoneGolem > vondon302 02/22/2017 at 14:31

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It is dense for sure. I could probably have read all of it if the car didn’t look so neglected.

razorbeamteam > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 14:32

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Article was hella pretentious, especially about Bob. So what the guy drives an automatic convertible vette, he can too be a jalop.

CalzoneGolem > Alfalfa 02/22/2017 at 14:33

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Well your children share your genes so some cosmetic issues are to be expected.

CalzoneGolem > Takuro Spirit 02/22/2017 at 14:33

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I sneezed into the doorknob.

Again?

.... Yes.

CalzoneGolem > razorbeamteam 02/22/2017 at 14:34

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Bob bought his dream car. That’s Jalop AF.

Mercedes Streeter > Alfalfa 02/22/2017 at 15:01

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*Giggles silently in corner* :)

LongbowMkII > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 15:02

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its not like he even upgraded or sorted some issues for the past 27 years.

I mean blargblargblargwordsaladblargblarg

Mr. Plastics powered by GreyGoose > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 15:26

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I bet the author would list it on craigslist “almost new” condition. Sure buddy, sure. Get some garnishes and get that thing looking nice again! I thought it was a little ratty too.

Frenchlicker > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 15:34

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Who the hell is Shane Morris? I don’t believe I recognize him as a regular contributor.

SpeedSix > Frenchlicker 02/22/2017 at 16:26

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I don’t know, but I hope either Patrick removes all the pretentiousness from any future articles, or we don’t see any future articles from him at all.

comes over to help work on your car and only drinks beer > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 17:01

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Based on the pictures, if that’s the care he raised his daughters with, I’m predicting they’ll probably be dating HS dropouts with tattoos and gold teeth that they met on tinder.

(see, I can be judgemental and arbitrarily elitist, too, article writer)

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 18:29

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This article pissed me of so much for so many reasons.

“Greg has adopted postmodernism, because it was hard-wired into his Depression-survivor parents before him. Greg accepted globalization. That’s why Greg drives a 30-year-old Nissan...”

This means fucking nothing. Postmodernism isn’t hardwired into his depression-surviving parents, because anything they believed predated post-modernism. Further more (as far as I understand it) Postmodernism and Modernism aren’t philosophy’s themselves. They are used to describe generations of philosophy. It’s not a stand alone philosophy. Keeping an old car around and having a personal attachment sounds more romanticism anyway. Although I’ll admit I know very little about romanticism. If you want postmodernism read fucking Žižek and try to relate it to this. Apart from capitalism bad, it’s hardly going to have anything to do with this story. And buying a used Nissan instead of a new Corvette isn’t, in itself, a Marxist or Socialist act. The whole “living below your means” thing isn’t exclusive of any philosophy, much less capitalism.

But whatever. I guess this is the Socialist People’s Republic of Gizmodo Media now. Glory to the Proletariat struggle over Capitalist pigs!

SpeedSix > CalzoneGolem 02/22/2017 at 22:10

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While the storytelling aspect of his writing is there, pretty much all of the other Jalopnik writers are equally capable of storytelling, but without the pretentiousness, so he brings nothing worthwhile to Jalopnik.

If I have to see his name again, I hope it’s heavily edited by Patrick.

Of course, my opinion only - if you disagree, please do so politely.
(standard Internet disclaimer now required)

CalzoneGolem > DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time 02/23/2017 at 08:31

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I thought I was reading a Vonnegut book with all the great depression imagery.

CalzoneGolem > comes over to help work on your car and only drinks beer 02/23/2017 at 08:32

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CalzoneGolem > Frenchlicker 02/23/2017 at 08:35

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http://jalopnik.com/i-owned-a-z06-once-and-it-was-fast-as-balls-i-even-su-1792635711

CalzoneGolem > SpeedSix 02/23/2017 at 08:35

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https://kinja.com/ShaneMorris

CalzoneGolem > LongbowMkII 02/23/2017 at 08:37

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The author might try to spin this to his frugal nature learned from his parents who learned it during the great depression but, those motherfuckers took care of their shit and made sure it was in good repair.

LongbowMkII > CalzoneGolem 02/23/2017 at 08:59

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For every piece of information you have to dig through 4 paragraphs of needless verbosity.

That’s just not worth it for mediocre information. Let me be clear, a rusty 1987 maxima, even with a 5 speed, is mediocre.

A manual Toyota Cressida though....  

Frenchlicker > CalzoneGolem 02/23/2017 at 11:05

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He’s a douche while explaining why he isn’t a douche. Also, there are a ton of Miata people that couldn’t care less about the rest of the car world.

CalzoneGolem > Frenchlicker 02/23/2017 at 11:24

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Yeah, it’s pretty bad.

Frenchlicker > CalzoneGolem 02/23/2017 at 11:30

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His other comments too...

CalzoneGolem > Frenchlicker 02/23/2017 at 11:35

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Yeah, not better.